Overcome Fear of Being Judged – Are You Secretive and Withdrawn?

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

Do you keep to yourself a lot?

Do you think if people knew what you actually did 24 hours a day, they would look down on you?

If so, then you’re not alone.

Back when I had social anxiety, I remember being very secretive about my life and what I did in my spare time.

I thought if someone found out about me having no friends or no social life, they wouldn’t like me anymore. I thought if a girl I liked found out about my lack of past relationships and experience, her interest would disappear before it even started. Basically I thought if people found out about “the real me,” then they would instantly reject me.

This caused me to become secretive and withdrawn around people. If someone asked me “what did you do this weekend?” I would try my best to dodge the question. Even though they only asked to try to be friendly, I didn’t want them to know I had spent it alone keeping myself amused.

After a lot of time working on my social anxiety, trying to find ways to cure it, and studying the psychology behind it, I figured out the cause of these secretive behaviours.

Being secretive and withdrawn comes from having a belief that says…

“I Am Inferior”

Most socially anxious people feel they are inferior in some way to everyone else, and if this inferiority was discovered by someone, then it would mean instant rejection.

This feeling of inferiority could come from:

  • a lack of friends or social life,
  • “ugliness” or a physical flaw,
  • or a dozen other things

When you feel that you are inferior in some way, then you’re going to try to find ways to cover up or compensate for that feeling of inferiority. Usually this happens through trying to create a certain IMPRESSION on someone.

Think about this carefully, because it’s important.

Trying to Make “Impressions”

Instead of expressing your personality freely, inferiority makes you carefully monitor how other people see you. You spent a lot of time and mental energy trying to make certain “impressions” on people to make them like you.

In psychology, this is called impression management. Impression management is the reason why you try to be seen as someone you’re not in front of certain people.

For example, around some guy or girl you like, you may try to look more popular and social whenever they walk by. Or, if you are walking alone, then you may try to avoid them so they don’t see you by yourself.

It’s all about you trying to make them see you in a certain light.

Here’s how the process works: “People can’t like me because I’m ugly/loner/pathetic, but if I can create a good impression in their minds, then maybe they will like that impression.”

In essence, you’re trying to “trick” people into liking you…

  • If you feel too ugly, you’ll only let certain people see you with lots of makeup on and constantly check your appearance in the mirror.
  • If you feel you are a loner, you’ll avoid running into people when you’re by yourself — you may see them in the distance walking towards you and avoid them.
  • If you feel like people don’t like you because you’re too quiet, then when someone you want to impress comes by, you’ll try to be louder and more social.

Being Secretive

Okay, this is all interesting, but what does it have to do with being secretive and withdrawn?

A lot, actually.

When you are acting secretive and withdrawn, you basically don’t want people to find out about the “real” you.

You don’t want them to know about your bad parts. You don’t want them to know about the things you are ashamed of. You don’t want them to realize that you are actually inferior.

Because you think when they do … POOF! They’ll be gone!

You think…

  • when they find out you have a boring life, they’ll won’t accept you
  • when they realize you have no friends, they’ll lose respect for you
  • when they see you’re actually shy, introverted, and insecure, they’ll want to have nothing to do with you.

So you become secretive and withdrawn to avoid being rejected. You may not have any friends if you are this secretive, but you also don’t risk losing people’s acceptance.

The Problem with Impression Management

Right now you may be thinking: “Okay, I now realize I’m trying to create an impression so that people will like me. But what’s wrong with that? Is it bad to want to be liked?”

And no, there’s nothing wrong with trying to be liked.

But trying to create impressions is simply the wrong way of doing it.

There are many flaws with trying to create impressions on people…

First, when other people find out you were putting on an act the whole time, your friendship or relationship will crumble. That’s because it was never a real relationship in the first place. It was just you playing a game to get the other person’s acceptance and approval.


The most miserable and tortured people in the world are those who are continually straining and striving to convince themselves and others that they are something other than what they basically are.

– Dr. Maxwell Maltz

And thirdly, impression management makes you self-conscious and inhibited around people. You don’t feel free to express yourself because then you would lose control of the impression you’d make on others.

So What’s the Solution?

Is there an alternative to impression management?

Yes, there is.

The solution is self-acceptance. Self-acceptance means accepting and coming to terms with yourself just as you are now, with all your faults, weaknesses, shortcomings, as well as your assets and strengths. Accept that you will always be imperfect, just like everyone else.

Self-acceptance is the cure to feelings of inferiority, and curing inferiority will make you stop trying to create impressions on people.

Once you accept yourself, you’ll stop being secretive because you’ll think “what’s the point?” If you truly believe that people can accept and like you just for you, then there’s no point in wasting so much time and energy trying to make them to like you.

Dr. Arthur W. Combs, professor of educational psychology and counselling at the University of Florida, says that the goal of every human being should be to become a “self-fulfilled person.” I think this is even more applicable to people with shyness and social anxiety.

Watch this video to find out how to overcome fear of being judgedFree Yourself From The Fear Of Judgement & Start Living Life | Marisa Peer

What is a self-fulfilled person?

A self-fulfilled person sees themselves as liked, wanted, acceptable and able individuals. They have a high degree of acceptance of themselves as they are. They have a feeling of oneness with others.

Accept yourself, and become self-fulfilled, and you won’t feel the need to be as secretive and withdrawn.

And, even better, you will start to open up to people more, which is what creates truly fulfilling friendships and relationships. When you open up and share yourself people will feel comfortable around you and like you. 

Being secretive and withdrawn instead of open, honest and authentic is one of the main reasons why shy and socially anxious people have trouble making friends.

Right now you may be thinking: “That’s easy to say, but how do you apply it?”

This post is already getting too long, but I dedicate a whole section of my e-book to ways of gaining rock-solid self-acceptance, self-esteem, and self-fulfillment.

This isn’t the typical new-age soft stuff you’d expect. It’s based in real-world psychology and my own first-hand experience overcoming social anxiety and shyness. 

Check it out here if you want.

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on What is the Best Way to Overcome Fear of Being Judged ?

What is the Best Way for Overcoming Social Fears?

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

Overcoming Social Fears Through Progressive Desensitization

Let’s get right down to it, what exactly do you need to do to overcome social fears like shyness or social anxiety?

Well, it starts by facing fear. People usually are shy or socially anxious because they avoid the situations they are uncomfortable in. They run away from fear.

Do you ever:

Try to avoid talking to someone you are shy around? Maybe it’s a co-worker that you make sure to never walk past their office.

Or maybe you avoid someone you are attracted to. If you saw them walking towards you, would you be frantically thinking of ways to not walk past them?

Do you ever keep quiet in group conversations, meetings, or in class because you’re too nervous to speak up? This is another way of avoiding fear. In this case, you are avoiding doing a certain behaviour that scares you.

All of these behaviours do not help your social fears. They only reinforce it and make it worse.

Why? It’s because the process of overcoming shyness or social anxiety is exposure to what you fear. This is not just A way to overcome shyness, it’s THE way. The ONLY way.

How to Overcome Any Fear?

Exposure is the way to overcome any fear. This means you gradually expose yourself to what you fear over and over again until you no longer fear it. In psychology this is called progressive desensitization. You progressively desensitize yourself to what you are afraid of.

Pretty sexy, huh? Now you know why I tell people that overcoming shyness or social anxiety is not a fun activity.

You have to be willing to put yourself into uncomfortable situations that make you nervous and tense. You have to be willing to endure short-term discomfort to live a better life free of fear in the long-term.

Stop Avoiding Fear, It’s Actually a Good Thing

If you don’t have a firm conviction to overcome shyness or social anxiety, then you will run away from the discomfort and fear. This is not the way to change.

Instead, use your willpower to stop avoiding the situations you fear.

Realize that fear is not a bad thing. In fact, it is a good thing.

Fear is a good thing because fear shows you the path to the life you want.

Think about it. All of your deepest desires are fear-ridden. All of the things that you really want to do, whether it’s making new friends, talking to someone you’re attracted to, or becoming okay at public speaking are things you are scared of right now.

If you feel fear, then you know you are doing what’s best for you in the long run.

It’s like the difference between eating junk food and eating healthy. Junk food is ultra -tempting in the moment, just like avoiding fear. On the other hand, the healthy food doesn’t taste as good, but it will benefit you more in the long run, just like facing your fears.

Don’t take the easy way out.

Watch these 2 videos below about overcoming social fears

Social Anxiety | Overcome the Fear of Being Judged

7 Techniques to Overcome Social Anxiety | Causes, Symptoms and Strategies

Click here to learn more about my system for overcoming social anxiety.

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on What is the Best Way for Overcoming Social Fears?

How to Overcome Depression Due to Social Anxiety?

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

10 Reasons Social Anxiety Makes You Depressed

Why do social anxiety and depression often occur together? In this post I’ll list what I believe are the top 10 reasons. To find out how to overcome depression due to social anxiety, read on till end of this post.

1. Lack of social connections

Did you know there are psychologists out there who also study “happiness,” not just disorders? What they’ve found is that the quality of your close personal relationships is the most important factor in your happiness:

50 years of happiness research shows that the quantity and quality of a person’s social connections—friendships, relationships with family members, closeness to neighbors, etc.—is so closely related to well-being and personal happiness the two can practically be equated.

– Christine Carter, Ph.D., University of California, Berkeley

Yes, it’s more important than money, fame, good looks, or even being born in a rich country. Take that, billionaires!

Of course, it does suck to be someone with social anxiety who avoids people and is afraid of closeness or intimacy.

In my experience, depression can make your social avoidance much worse. Why? Because when you feel like crap inside, it totally removes your motivation to socialize. Not only do you feel nervous to talk to people, but now you don’t even have the energy or enthusiasm to even try. Oh, but you still feel that nagging loneliness.

2. People are turned off by your nervous, sad or desperate energy.

Feeling anxious makes it extremely difficult to carry on even a basic conversation.

This is why one of the most common problem I hear from my readers is that they “don’t know what to say” or their “mind goes blank” when talking. It’s hard to talk to people when you have alarm bells going off inside your mind, and your heart is racing, sweat is dripping off you, and your hands are trembling.

What’s worse, the sadness and depression you feel from loneliness turns people off even more. It makes you give off this subtle needy and desperate vibe, which to other people feels like a black hole of negative energy. When I was most depressed, I felt like I sucked the fun and energy out of the conversation just by opening my mouth.

3. Feeling “different” instead of belonging to a tribe.

Similar to point #1, it feels great when you feel like you’ve found “your people”:

  • People who have similar viewpoints, interests and goals to you.
  • People who you can have shared experiences with.
  • People who you can totally feel free to be yourself around.

Unfortunately, most people with social anxiety feel “different,” out of place, like you don’t really fit in with any group of people you’ve met.

I know this feeling all too well. While most guys in school were talking about dumb stuff like who their favourite hockey player was… I was wondering why they cared so much about hockey in the first place.

I’m lucky now to have found my own “tribe” of people I can easily connect to (generally people who are interested in psychology, online business, self-development, travel.) But it would have been impossible to find them with social anxiety.

Some studies have found that childhood experiences of not fitting in or being excluded can lead to social anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.

4. Can’t find a significant other.

Having a girlfriend, boyfriend, a companion… this is one of the big reasons why people come learn from me and invest in my courses.

Actually, relationships don’t always lead to happiness. They’re not always sunshine and roses. They often include conflict, jealously and heartbreak. And lonely people overlook the fact that the most depressed people in the world are usually the ones who have just broken up… luckily that type of depression lifts within a few weeks normally.

Yet despite the negatives, having someone to share the little moments of life with is something that gives many people a great feeling of being understood, loved and significant. I believe nobody should have to suffer being unwillingly single for years or a lifetime, but many people with social anxiety do.

5. Can’t pursue your desired career.

What’s a good job for someone with social anxiety? Computer programmer? Maybe a video editor? Yet even these jobs nowadays require a lots of collaboration and talking to people. Unless you’re going to be a truck driver or park ranger, you can’t really escape needing conversation skills in most jobs.

It’s simply a fact: If you aren’t confident, if you aren’t assertive, and if even the word “teamwork” makes your heart start to beat a little faster… then you’re probably going to be struggle getting the career you truly deserve.

  • To not getting the raise or promotion you want because you’re scared to ask for it,
  • To being too nervous at the interview to get a job in the first place!

…I would bet social anxiety costs many people tens of thousands of dollars over a lifetime in their professional life.

6. Boredom and nothing to do.

Alone and aimlessly browsing the internet. That describes way too much of my high school and college life. Here’s a fact: when you don’t have friends to do things with, you usually don’t have many interesting things to do.

So you spend a lot of time doing things just to stay busy and distracted, things that ultimately feel unfulfilling and empty. For me this included video games, browsing random websites, etc. Jumping from distraction to distraction fills the time, but it your life doesn’t feel meaningful, and over time this erodes your self-esteem even more.

7. Negative thoughts about self.

Feeling insecure about yourself is extremely common for social anxiety sufferers. You may believe that you’re ugly, that you’re secretly a loser, that people closely judge every little thing you say, etc. 

(This is in fact one of the core causes of social anxiety: you feel like you are “flawed” in some way, so you’re constantly nervous and worried about other people “noticing” this flaw and rejecting you.)

I’m sure it’s easy to see how the same types of thoughts that make you feel socially anxious can also make you feel depressed.

8. Feeling inferior and submissive.

I’ve yet to see another course about shyness or social anxiety talk about this, but I consider it crucially important…

When you perceive your social status or rank to be LOW, that’s when you start being “shy” or “socially anxious.” In psychology this idea is called “social rank theory.”

Let me explain. Take a look at these 3 common symptoms of shyness:

  • Weak eye contact,
  • Talking quietly and timidly,
  • Being afraid to be assertive.

Think about what someone acting this way is really communicating. If a scientist saw a chimpanzee acting this way in the wild, he would label it as… submissive! And that’s where a lot of low social confidence comes from: a deep unconscious belief in other people being higher social status and more socially dominant than you. If you can overcome this feeling of inferiority, then you will find it easy to stop acting submissive & shy.

I talk a lot about this in my System, in the chapter called “Value & The Social Hierarchy”. What I didn’t realize when I created my course was that this same belief of inferiority / low status also leads to depression. That’s what this study found:

This study explores the associations between shame, depression and social anxiety from the perspective of social rank theory. Social rank theory argues that emotions and moods are significantly influenced by the perceptions of one’s social status/rank; that is the degree to which one feels inferior to others and looked down on. A common outcome of such perceptions is submissive behaviour. […]

Results confirm that shame, social anxiety and depression (but not guilt) are highly related to feeling inferior and to submissive behaviour.

– Study by Paul Gilbert: The Relationship of Shame, Social Anxiety and Depression: The Role of the Evaluation of Social Rank

9. Feeling ignored and invisible

Have you ever heard the saying that “you only exist in relationship to other people”? I think there’s some deep truth to it.

There have been periods of my life when I’ve been a huge loner, basically a hermit. I avoided making friends, and rarely talked to family. And it felt really strange. Like my existence felt less real when I didn’t interact with people for a long time. I started to wonder if I was losing my personality the more I stayed alone. I felt like I was fading away.

I can definitely see how some old people who are isolated start to go crazy, because I could feel it happening to me. And maybe this is why people fall in love… they need to feel like at least one other person in the world SEES them fully. Not feeling like other people KNOW and understand you really is depressing.

Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you. – Carl Jung

And lastly…

10. No plan or hope of getting better.

The longer you stay stuck with social anxiety, the less you feel in control of your life.

And the longer you are deprived of relationships, the harder it becomes to dig yourself out of the hole. It can feel so comforting to try to push your desires for friends, for a romantic relationship to the back of your mind as you focus on other hobbies.

But every once in a while, maybe on your birthday, you realize that another year of your life slipped by. Without much improvement.

That life event that was supposed to change your life: moving away to college, graduating or getting a job… it came and went and you’re still the same person. And sometimes you lay awake at night feeling like you’re wasting precious time you’ll never ever get back.

Now THAT’S the part of social anxiety which is the most depressing in my opinion.

Yet this type of thinking is also what finally motivated me to overcome my own social anxiety and now teach others as well.

Watch this video – How to cope with anxiety | Olivia Remes | TEDxUHasselt

If you take one thing away from this post, I hope it’s this: You are not alone. The same struggles, challenges and frustrations you face every day are ones common to most people with social anxiety.

Click here to learn more about my system for overcoming social anxiety.

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on How to Overcome Depression Due to Social Anxiety?

How to Unclog Arteries Without Medication and Reduce Cholesterol Fast?

Click Here to Find Out How You Can Completely Clean Out the Plaque Build-Up in Your Arteries

Unclog Arteries Without Medication and Reduce Cholesterol Fast – Does Exercise Really Prevent Death?

The Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans, which appeared in the journal JAMA in 2018, proposed one of two ideal programs: either a weekly total of 150 minutes of light to moderate aerobic exercise combined with two strength training sessions, or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic exercise combined with two strength training sessions.

But till now, there has been little scientific scrutiny of these specific guidelines.

This is the gap that the new study intended to fill. And the results were quite surprising.

The authors of the new study decided to examine whether adherence to these two exercise schedules was associated with a reduction in death from all causes and death from eight specific causes: cardiovascular disease, diabetes, Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, lower respiratory tract diseases, pneumonia and flu, kidney diseases, and accidents and injuries.

They first consulted the National Health Interview Surveys from 1997 to 2014 in which people reported their weekly aerobic and muscle strengthening activities.

They then compared this data with information obtained from the National Death Index records that stretched across nine years.

Overall, the authors used the information that 479,856 people provided and categorized the results into four groups: insufficient activity, aerobic activity only, muscle strengthening only, and both types of activities according to the 2018 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans.

Unsurprisingly, only 16 percent (or 76,384) of the participants met the exercise guidelines, and 59,819 of them died during the study period.

Compared to participants who engaged in insufficient exercise, those who did sufficient muscle strengthening activity had an 11 percent lower risk of all-causes death, and those who performed sufficient aerobic activity had reduced their risk of all-causes death by 29 percent.

Even better, the risk of all-causes death of those who performed both types of activity according to the guidelines managed to reduce their all-causes death risk by 40 percent.

The surprise wasn’t that exercising helps, but rather, it was just how much exercising helps.

But exercising is only one piece of the puzzle. Here are more tips on avoiding the diseases addressed in the study:

Cardiovascular disease…

Type 2 diabetes…

Alzheimer’s disease and other causes of dementia…

Kidney disease…

High blood pressure…

Written by Julissa Clay

Unclog Arteries Without Medication and Reduce Cholesterol Fast – Can Beef Improve Cholesterol Levels?

Medical scientists have been telling us for ages to avoid meat because it contains saturated fat that supposedly increases our cholesterol levels and, subsequently, the risk of clogged arteries, heart attack, and stroke.

A study in the latest edition of the Journal of Nutrition analyzed the effects on cholesterol, blood pressure, and insulin resistance of substituting lean beef for some of the carbohydrates in a healthful American diet.

The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) recommends that American adults obtain no more than 20 percent of their daily energy from protein; for Americans, daily protein sources are most often animal products.

According to these guidelines, the bulk of Americans’ energy needs should be satisfied with carbohydrates because animal products, which can be rich in saturated fat, may cause high cholesterol and diabetes.

But because lean beef actually contains fairly little saturated fat, a team of researchers decided to establish what would happen if lean beef were added to a relatively healthful American diet in the place of carbohydrates.

Their subjects were 7 men and 26 women with an average age of 44.4 years; all were overweight or obese, with an average body mass index of 31.3 kg/m2. The subjects had all been diagnosed with metabolic syndrome or prediabetes, but those with excessively high cholesterol and blood pressure were excluded.

They split them into two groups:

1. A group who ate the conventional diet recommended by the USDA (the “USDA-CON group”). They obtained 16–18 percent of their daily energy from protein and 52–58 percent from carbohydrates.

2. A group who replaced some of the carbohydrates of the USDA-recommended diet with 150 grams (5.21 ounces) of lean beef (the “USDA-LB group”).

Each group consumed its diet for seven days, after which the subjects were told to resume their normal diets for 14 days. The groups then swapped and ate the other group’s original diet for another seven days.

Before and after each seven-day dietary period, the scientists tested the subjects’ cholesterol, triglycerides (blood fats), blood pressure, insulin resistance, and a marker of inflammation called C-reactive protein.

The two diets did not differ in any of these heart disease and diabetes risk factors, meaning that the substitution of lean beef for carbohydrates makes no difference when it comes to heart disease and diabetes risk for people who are already overweight/obese and prediabetic.

This should be good news for people who love lean meat; this finding basically means that they can eat two servings of it per day. This excludes fat and processed meats like ham, bacon, sausages, and mincemeat.

The study lasted over a short period of one week and didn’t reveal anything about the long-term effects of eating lean meat, but the study did show that cutting out carbohydrates did nothing to improve type 2 diabetes and other health factors.

But there is another ingredient that has nothing to do with protein or carbs but that is piling up cholesterol plaque in your heart—and you don’t even know you’re consuming it. I’ll explain this in detail here…

Unclog Arteries Without Medication and Reduce Cholesterol Fast – The “Heart-Friendly” Vitamin You Should STOP Taking IMMEDIATELY!

We need to talk. There is a vitamin that just about everyone says is great for your cardiovascular health. Even most respected natural health experts agree on the wonders of this vitamin.

But in reality, this vitamin can damage your cardiovascular system—severely—by hardening your blood vessels, for example, along with all the resulting complications.

Most unfortunate of all is that half of all patients over 60 are strongly encouraged to stock up on this vitamin.

The investigation group from Johns Hopkins Medical School looked at data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey from 2001 to 2006, which collected data from 15,000 participants.

None of the survey participants had cardiovascular-related conditions, but rather, all had fairly low amounts of vitamin D.

The results of the survey brought to light an interesting connection between vitamin D levels and CRP, a known marker for cardiovascular inflammation associated with stiffening of blood vessels.

Researchers found that study participants who had what were considered “normal” levels of vitamin D had significantly lower levels of inflammation.

However, the researchers also discovered that any additional increase of vitamin D in blood levels was related to a significantly heightened risk for CRP (a marker of cardiovascular inflammation).

Nevertheless, it is important to understand that vitamin D is crucial to our cardiovascular health, and many studies proved that optimum vitamin D levels reduce the risk of heart disease, lower blood pressure, and even reduce mortality.

However, there can be too much of a good thing, and vitamin D supplements may pose unnecessary health risks to people.

Health care providers should be aware of the potential risks of overloading on vitamin D and recommend the vitamin only when there is an obvious need for it.

Remember that the best source of vitamin D is sunshine. A daily walk outside for at least 20 minutes in the morning will ensure that you have the optimal levels of vitamin D in your system.

And you can never overdose on vitamin D from sunlight; your body will just stop absorbing it.

However, if you are not sure if you lack or have too much of this vitamin, talk to your physician and ask for a blood test to determine your vitamin D levels.

The generally accepted recommended blood levels of vitamin D are 50–70 nanograms per milliliter (ng/ml).

However, if you do need to supplement with vitamin D, at least make sure that you are using vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol) and NOT Vitamin D2 (ergocalciferol). Vitamin D3 is the same type of vitamin D as produced in our bodies in response to sunshine, while vitamin D2 is a synthetic form of vitamin D that is typically prescribed by doctors.

To find out how to unclog arteries without medication and reduce cholesterol fast, watch this video – How I Reversed 20 years of Arterial Plaque

These 3 exercises could help save your life by lowering your blood pressure. Click this link and say “good riddance” to high blood pressure…

Unclog Arteries Without Medication and Reduce Cholesterol Fast – Stop your high cholesterol dead in its tracks by cutting out this one common ingredient you didn’t even know you were consuming…

This post is from the Oxidized Cholesterol Strategy Program. It was created by Scott Davis. Because he once suffered from high cholesterol, so much so that he even had a severe heart attack. This is what essentially led him to finding healthier alternatives to conventional medication. Oxidized Cholesterol Strategy is a unique online program that provides you with all the information you need to regain control of your cholesterol levels and health, as a whole.

To find out more about this program, go to Unclog Arteries Without Medication and Reduce Cholesterol Fast.

What to Do if You Are Highly Intelligent but Socially Awkward?

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

4 Reasons Highly Intelligent People Are Often Socially Inept

If you’re still reading this post, then you probably consider yourself more intelligent than average man or woman. Maybe you excelled in school or you couldn’t understand why all your classmates were only interested in pop music and celebrities… when you mostly cared more about exploring the world deeply with your mind.

At this point in your life, your smart mind has probably given you many advantages over others. It’s probably helped you out in school, maybe landing a degree, performing well at your job, and so on.

However, this smart mind can be worse than useless when it comes to…

Your Social Skills and Confidence

For most of my life, it was hard for me to imagine how my smart mind could ever hurt my chances for success, but this is one of those situations.

So I’ve put together this short list of ways your intelligence makes you FAIL in social situations… and what to do about it.

1. They Seek Information Instead of Developing Skills

My dad was a welder for many years, and do you know how he learned? Through practice. Doing something over and over again is what allows you to develop a skill.

Sure, there’s some basic training you NEED to go through, but to go from being bad to good in a skill… you’ll have to put in the time and effort.

Yet there’s a lot of socially inept people who don’t treat social skills in this way.

Instead they look for the one last magic piece of information that will solve all their problems. Like looking for a fool proof conversation starter that will work every time in any situation. (This doesn’t exist.)

Social skills are just that… SKILLS.

They’re not social INFORMATION.

They’re not social THEORIES.

They’re social SKILLS.

And you don’t get them by THINKING about them, you get them by GETTING them. This means you’ll learn more by in one hour of actually getting out of the house and talking to people than you will in ten hours of “education”.

You get better by doing, by practicing at least a few times a week.

2. They Think Too Much

Do you ever notice how so many people out there who are extremely confident and socialize effortlessly also happen to be…

Downright stupid!

And the people who are really smart may be unsure of what to say, or afraid of opening their mouth to make a fool of themselves. Oh, what a backwards world we live in!

Let’s think about this:

Why can people who SUCK at thinking, reasoning and logic… be total MASTERS when it comes to socializing? And why do you find it so difficult to make conversation confidently when you probably “deserve” to do so more than those idiots?

It’s because being social and contributing to a conversation is not a problem to be solved by thinking. It’s more about an energetic and spontaneous expression of how you’re feeling.

I took some improv theater classes for a few months. This is a type of theater that is totally spontaneous… all the actors/students have no scripts… they just blurt out the first thing that comes into their head.

This situation seems like a nightmare for a smart and shy person… but you should really try it out sometimes even if it seems scary.

The biggest lesson I learned from those classes was to rely more on speaking from my GUT feeling and instinct instead of trying to carefully plan and think through everything I said.

Most shy and socially anxious people are the exact opposite of “spontaneous.”

If you can’t think of what to say, you probably go on thinking and thinking and thinking. Racking your brain to come up with some good and interesting conversation topic to talk about.

Never realizing that THINKING TOO MUCH is the main reason you have a problem speaking up more to begin with!

3. They Psych Themselves Out

Some psychologists have called the mind a “simulation machine.” Your mind is designed to remember the past or simulate the future to help you survive in life.

If you can imagine yourself dying after walking off the 10th storey of a building, you probably won’t step off the edge, will you?

Well, smart people take this FUTURE SIMULATING and RISK AVOIDING nature of the brain way too far sometimes.

How? By coming up with all of the reasons why everything WON’T WORK when it comes to social situations.

You may use your amazing creative imagination to vividly imagine all the horrific way you will fail. And you figure out every little way something could go wrong.

For example, maybe there’s a girl you want to ask out on a date. But then your mind imagines you creating an awkward silence after you say “Hi”… And you imagine her saying “No”… and then her telling everyone else in the world about what a loser and a creep you are… and then you have to see her every day still and try to avoid feeling super awkward.

Are you getting the picture here?

Imagining the worst that can happen causes you to not even try. You probably avoid a lot of parties, conversations and social situations for fear of the worst happening… all thanks to your smart mind which has made you see all the “risks.”

Now, if you’ve thought something through and come up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right?

I mean, why would you want to do things that are going to fail?

It is sound logical, but it’s HORRIBLE thinking when it comes to the REAL WORLD… and overcoming shyness and social anxiety.

Because shy and socially anxious people have a tendency to OVERESTIMATE. You waaaay overestimate the probability that something bad will happen, and you overestimate the consequences if something bad did happen.

Usually, failure is not as big a deal as your mind makes it out to be. You ask a girl out, she says no… and life goes on. You feel bad about it for a few days, and within 2 weeks you no longer really remember it much. And beyond that…

The little failures are necessary to improve your skills. Failing in one conversation is not nearly as bad as the consequences of avoiding taking risks in general… this is what lead to ULTIMATE FAILURE.

4. They Can’t Deal with Fear and Other Emotions

An intelligent person’s strength is often their logic, which means their weakness is emotions.

When it comes to dealing with emotions… a lot of smart people (guys especially) become totally uncomfortable and frozen. Maybe they start to repress or run away from the emotions… especially the bad ones like fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of opening up and connecting with others, and so on.

Many people would rather DIE in lonely isolation than admit that they don’t know how to deal with their emotions… or, GOD FORBID, ask for help!

Hey, I went for YEARS like this. I know what it’s like. But the reality is that anyone can learn to handle and even MASTER their emotions (even fear)…if they just take the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.

If this is you, then do yourself a big favor… take the time. Take the effort. Don’t worry about whether someone else will look down on you for studying “self-help.” What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.

I think the reason why I’m so fascinated with “The Socially Inept Genius Puzzle” is because I had to struggle with all of these issues for a lot of years of my life.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m the smartest guy on the planet… Yet it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at figuring things out… …I couldn’t figure out what I was missing when it came to being good at conversations and social skills like other people.

Something tells me that you know what I’m talking about.

Well, after beating my head against the wall for a few years… trying all kinds of crazy stuff… I finally got the bright idea to start studying people who were “naturally” good socially.

By carefully studying what the “naturals” did and said in conversations… and learning how their minds worked… I began to realize that social skills weren’t LOGICAL at all.

I was doing many things in a fundamentally wrong way, and the more I tried to “fix” my problems, the less progress I made. Much of what I learned was very tough for me to accept… because my logical brain just didn’t want to buy into it. 

It’s like that quote that goes:

“You cannot solve a problem at the same level of thinking which created it.”

That’s what becoming more confident and skilled socially is like. It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was learning until I personally figured out how to overcome shyness and social anxiety…

I learned how to become confident and talkative whenever and wherever…

I learned how to build a social circle of friends from scratch…

To get help for those high intelligent but socially awkward ones, watch this video – How To Turn Awkwardness Into Confidence

And once I got this area of my own life together, I decided to start helping other shy and socially anxious people get this area of THEIR lives together. In fact, I created a whole system to help you do it.

The Shyness and Social Anxiety System

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on What to Do if You Are Highly Intelligent but Socially Awkward?

Feel Inferior to Others? 8 Signs of an Inferiority Complex

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

What really is an inferiority complex? And do you have one?

On this page, I’ll reveal several little-known symptoms of an inferiority complex, so you can test and see if you have this deep-seated problem.

Along the way, I’ll also give you some practical tips and insights for how to overcome the feeling of inferiority.

Where Inferiority Comes From

When you were a baby, you were inferior. I know that sounds weird, yet think about it.

A baby can’t even stay alive on its own. It’s completely dependent on adults for survival. And as you grew from a baby into a child, you were still surrounded by older people who were more strong, capable and powerful than you.

The famous psychologist Alfred Adler said that feeling inferior is often a healthy motivation. 

When you receive criticism or see someone do something better than you, this can drive you to eliminate your weaknesses. You’re motivated to become more powerful in the world so you don’t feel inferior anymore. Feeling inferior makes you learn from the superior people around you. You develop yourself, and eventually become one of these confident adults yourself.

However, some people feel such a strong feeling of inferiority that it stops being healthy or useful. This is what Adler called an “inferiority complex.” 

Instead of motivating you, an inferiority complex paralyzes you. It can result in extreme shyness or social anxiety, feeling worthless, and the desire to prevent failure through not trying.

So that’s the difference between feeling inferior and an inferiority complex. Feeling inferior sometimes can actually help you improve yourself and your life. But an inferiority complex usually means you feel incomplete, unworthy and unacceptable as a person no matter what you do, achieve or fix about yourself.

Two Main Types of Inferiority

In the people I’ve studied and worked with, I’ve noticed a common pattern. People who feel inferior generally fall into one of 2 categories:

People who “know” they’re actually smart, good looking, successful, etc… but still feel inferior. It’s like a mysterious feeling that they aren’t good enough that they know isn’t based on anything real or solid.

If this is you, then people around you may say “You’re so pretty/smart/etc… I don’t understand why you’re so shy/afraid/sad/etc” Well you don’t understand it either, you just feel this way: “I recognize that I’m beautiful, but I still feel ugly.”

People who “know” they’re ugly, dumb, boring, failures, etc… and their flaws make them feel unable to get the affection, support and friendship of others.

If this is you, then you probably feel that if you were only really good looking, tall, successful, or whatever else… then many of your problems would be instantly solved and you would feel great about yourself.

Here’s a quick test: How would you complete this sentence? “I would be confident, happy and attractive if I was only…”

Which one do you fit into better? #1 or #2?

The main difference between the two types is that type #1 seems to have a feeling that is unrealistic, while type #2 believes the feeling is caused by actual flaws they have.

Whichever type you are, you’ve probably been stuck with this problem for most or all of your life.

And here are a few of the ways in which an inferiority complex can reveal itself in your day to day life:

1. Being Ultra-Sensitive

When you feel inferior, any small critical comment can often send you into a spiral of depression and self-hate for days. Any slight sign of rejection or exclusion will make you feel totally miserable.

You wish you could just somehow “stop caring what people think” and “not give a fuck”… but it’s not that simple.

Unfortunately, most of the advice you may have read for how to be less sensitive probably tried to give you a rational argument for why you shouldn’t feel bad like: “Their opinion doesn’t really make an impact on your life.” In my experience, this type of advice doesn’t help, because you cannot reason your way out of a feeling you did not reason yourself into in the first place.

How to Actually Stop Caring:

Actually the solution to being sensitive to what people think is NOT to care less… but to care more about what you think of yourself. The people who seem to “not care” the most are actually just firmly rooted in their own values.

Values (definition):

A person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.

You stop caring so much about other people’s judgements when your own sense of judgement becomes stronger(This is an extremely important point, and unfortunately something I can’t explain properly in this short article.)

Women often say a man who “knows who he is” is attractive. I never knew what that meant, until I realized they like a guy who is rooted in his own value system.

Meaning he knows what is important to HIM in life, and he’s not constantly changing or bending himself depending on who is around.

2. Always Comparing Yourself to Another Person’s #1 Winning Quality

Comparison causes the feeling of inferiority or superiority. That’s obvious. Now let’s look at the problem closer:

Why is everybody always better than you?

It’s because you focus on their one BEST quality and then compare yourself to that. Reality check: It’s unavoidable that most people are going to be better than you at the #1 thing they spend the most time practicing or have a natural talent for.

Joe spends 6 days a week in the gym, so he has a better body than you.

Suzy spends her days endlessly chatting on Facebook messenger and parties every weekend, so she has a larger social circle than you.

Bill spends every afternoon studying to please his parents, so he’s at the top of every class.

Then you look at them and you say: “I’m worse than Joe. I’m worse than Suzy. Hell, I’m even worse than that nerd Bill!” and you feel inferior. And you know what?

Yes, it’s true, you’re always going to measure yourself short if you are using a constantly changing ruler. And don’t forget that unusual success in one area usually comes from focus, which means the person you’re comparing yourself to neglects other areas of life.

If you could settle for being the best YOU you can be, it would greatly relieve your inner mental pressure to meet everyone else’s standards.

You are not inferior, you are not superior, you are simply YOU. Your value comes from your uniqueness.

3. Submissive Behavior

In psychology there’s an idea is called “social rank theory.”

This theory says that how you act and feel inside are often determined by what you perceive your social status or rank to be.

So if you FEEL inferior to others, looked down on and low status… then you will start ACTING submissive.

A lot of the behaviors usually called “shyness” could also be labelled “submissiveness”!

Think about how a shy person usually acts:

  • Weak eye contact,
  • Talking quietly and timidly,
  • Being afraid to be assertive.

If a scientist saw a chimpanzee acting this way in the wild, he would label it as… submissive! And that’s where a lot of low social confidence comes from: a deep unconscious belief in other people being superior to you, more deserving of respect and higher social status.

If you can overcome this feeling of inferiority, then you will find it easy to stop acting submissive & shy. I talk a lot about this in my System, in the chapter called “Value & The Social Hierarchy”.

This study explores the associations between shame, depression and social anxiety from the perspective of social rank theory. Social rank theory argues that emotions and moods are significantly influenced by the perceptions of one’s social status/rank; that is the degree to which one feels inferior to others and looked down on. A common outcome of such perceptions is submissive behaviour. […]

Results confirm that shame, social anxiety and depression (but not guilt) are highly related to feeling inferior and to submissive behaviour.

– Study by Paul Gilbert: The Relationship of Shame, Social Anxiety and Depression: The Role of the Evaluation of Social Rank

4. Perfectionism

Inferiority and perfectionism often go together because both are usually rooted in comparison. To a perfectionist, nothing they do is ever good enough.

Let me share with you a story…

There was one 19-year old guy named Paul I knew who wanted to be an artist. Just one problem: he considered himself a perfectionist. And he thought being a perfectionist was good because it would make him try harder to be great at his craft.

But that’s not what usually happens to perfectionists…

Paul would visit online forums and galleries where the best artists of the world showed off their work. And seeing how amazing every one of these artists were, he felt discouraged. There was no way his works would match up to theirs so what was the point?

Paul wanted his first works to be perfect, like the famous artists he admired. Yet his comparison became unhealthy, causing him feel so inferior to his art heroes that he became discouraged from even trying. And for years, he felt scared to even practice doing art because he knew it would not measure up to his expectations. So he was stuck.

Ironically enough… perfectionism usually WORSENS someone’s quality of work.

Yes, it’s true that some people are born with certain natural abilities… but nobody becomes great at what they do through talent alone. This is a big myth in our modern society that is slowly being busted. The author Malcolm Gladwell famously said that it takes 10,000 hours to reach a level of genius or greatness in any field.

And the artists that Paul admired so much were in their 30s, 40s and 50s. They had created years of mediocre art, before making their modern masterpieces.

Which leads me to the next symptom…

5. Procrastination and Inaction

Perfectionism usually leads to procrastination and inaction. Constantly comparing yourself to others and having too high standards for yourself does not make your work better. It’s more like shooting yourself in the foot.

You become so emotionally sensitive to failure that you avoid trying at all. And since it usually takes a million little failures to reach success, you end up trying nothing and accomplishing nothing.

This applies to every area of your life, not just art…

For example, you may avoid meeting new people because you’re afraid of being socially awkward, yet there is no way to become good at conversations except through practice.

So if you can avoid beating yourself up when you do poorly (being perfectionistic), then you will actually develop your social skills much faster.

Always keep this motto in mind:

Sucking at something is the first step at being sort of good at it.

6. Social Media Triggers Feelings of Guilt, Jealousy or Shame

When you see other people living their lives on Facebook, it makes you feel self -doubt and inferiority.

Maybe you’re young and all the people at your college seem to be out socializing and partying.

Maybe you’re older and your friends are starting families, which makes you question if your own life decisions are correct.

Maybe you see how many “likes” other people’s posts have, which makes you feel insignificant or worthless in comparison.

To make matters worse, people tend to only present the best parts of their lives on Facebook. So you are comparing your life to a distorted version of theirs that has all the sad, boring and plain parts edited out. In fact, studies have even proven that using social media too much makes people feel worse about themselves on average.

I believe this problem is multiplied when you already feel inferior as it is.

[In a recent study…] researchers found that using social media during the day or night was significantly related to decreased sleep quality, lower self-esteem, increased anxiety and depression levels in the study participants. – LiveScience Writer

(And don’t even get me started on the news or magazines, which beam images of the most successful, attractive and wealthy people in the world straight into your home 24/7.)

7. You’re Secretly Very Judgemental of Other People

Here’s an interesting pattern I’ve noticed…

Often guys who have been very unsuccessful with women will start to dislike them. A guy who is a 30-year old virgin may feel resentful and angry if he sees a group of happy attractive women walk by.


I believe it’s because the women remind him of what he feels inferior about… his own insecurities about his attractiveness, his feelings of failure around the opposite sex, and his loneliness in general.

Another example…

A woman who looks at a magazine cover with a skinny supermodel and is outraged about “society’s unrealistic standards” is not looking at the real reason WHY the model makes her so mad. The supermodel triggers feelings of unattractiveness and unworthiness inside her.

Deep down, she may feel physically attractive women are more valuable than less attractive ones, and therefore believes everyone else is judging her the same way. It’s a core fear that a woman’s value to others depends on how physically attractive she is.

(In my observation, women are more likely to compare their appearance like this than men. Who knows why? There have been HUGE protests against Barbie to make her proportions more “normal”… yet nobody is protesting that Superman or Batman action figures should be more “realistic” so boys don’t feel insecure compared to them.)

Are you starting to see the pattern here? One last example…

People who make fun of a millionaire driving a Ferrari are often trying to cover up the inner feeling of inadequacy and lack they feel that is triggered when they compare it to their rusty Toyota. If they suddenly won a big lottery, they would probably be the first in line to buy an expensive car themselves.

So here’s the lesson…

Inferiority causes you to be judgemental towards other people. When you judge someone else, you are usually trying to make yourself feel better than them in comparison. This always backfires. Look at when you feel the most hateful and condemning towards others. It’s probably a hint about what you feel inferior about in yourself.

What you perceive in the outside world is really a reflection of what’s happening inside you.

So if you don’t judge others, you’re less likely to feel constantly judged.

8. You Try to Hide Your Flaws or Distract People from Them… Without Success

Sometimes people who feel ugly or insecure about their appearance will give up trying to improve it completely. Other times they will carefully try to hide whatever it is they feel ashamed of:

This could be as simple as wearing baggy dark clothes when you don’t like your body shape.

Or maybe trying to always strike a certain pose in photos.

Constantly checking your reflection in windows and mirrors.

I remember avoiding smiling as much as possible back when I was painfully insecure about my slightly crooked front teeth. I notice teenagers who have braces also often do this, or cover their mouth with their hand when they laugh.

And I suppose some women may wear more makeup when they’re feeling ugly, but I’m no expert here.

All of these examples are ways of trying to control how other people see you, so that you can avoid their judgement of your inferior qualities. All it usually does is make you feel more self-conscious and stressed, from all the strained effort and constant alertness.

(I only mentioned examples that do with your looks, but this applies to anything about you that you are embarrassed about: lifestyle, personality flaws, past history, etc.)

So Where Do You Go from Here?

Before I finish up, there’s one last point I need to make…

There’s a difference between knowing you’re inferior and feeling inferior. Knowing you’re inferior to other people is realistic, it means you have a good grasp on reality.

For example, Arnold Schwartzenegar probably knows that he in inferior in intelligence than Stephen Hawking. And Stephen Hawking knows he is inferior in acting to Leonardo Dicaprio. But just because they can recognize the true level of their abilities or achievements, does not mean they have to feel inferior as a person because of it.

As one quote goes:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s human nature to try to rearrange the outside world to keep us happy, instead of starting with the only thing we truly can change: yourself. I hope this article has given you a clarity and insight into how your feelings of inferiority work.

Understanding is the first step to change.

To learn how to get over the feeling of being inferior, watch this video – 5 Tips to Beat Inferiority Complex

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on How to Get Over the Feeling of Being Inferior and Be More Confident?

What is the Best Way to Eliminate Your Joint Pain?

Click on Here to Discover How You Can Completely Heal Any Type of Arthritis In 21 Days or Less

Eliminate Your Joint Pain – Arthritis Cured with This Common Household Cleaner

What you have below is an article that will show you the household cleaner that helps to eliminate arthritis in your body.

You read that right. It’s a household cleaner—not some overpriced drug with an unpronounceable, invented name.

Actually, this household cleaner is so effective that it scared the pants off the pharmaceutical industry.

Boron (found in borax) is a naturally occurring element extracted from dried salt lakes. Normally, a healthful diet with unprocessed and organically grown fruits and vegetables provides about 2 to 5 mg of boron per day.

However, harsh soil fertilizers and unhealthful cooking methods greatly reduce the intake of boron from food.

Nowadays, due to the increase of chemical soil fertilizers and processed food, our boron intake has greatly reduced over the past century. And this trend has led to a significant uptick in diseases related to joint inflammation, such as arthritis.

In 1960, Australian plant and soil scientist Rex Newnham was diagnosed with arthritis. He tried to cure the ailment with all kinds of treatments that conventional medicine at the time could offer.

Unfortunately, nothing worked, and his arthritis only progressed.

He decided to look for an answer in plants and discovered that the soil in the area were plants were grown was rather mineral deficient.

Newnham knew that boron increases calcium metabolism in plants. He decided to supplement himself with 30 mg of borax a day. After three weeks of experimentation, the pain, stiffness, and swelling completely disappeared.

Even though he shared this exciting news with Australian public health officials, they were not interested in a safe, alternative arthritis treatment.

Soon after, Newnham developed tablets with a safe and effective concentration of boron and helped thousands of people to cure their arthritis.

Obviously, Newnham’s work proved a great threat to big pharmaceutical companies and threatened to reduce their profits by replacing expensive arthritis treatments (that didn’t work anyway) with an easy and cheap supplement. As a result, borax was declared to be a poison in any concentration and banned from use as a cure.

Later, a double-blind trial in Royal Melbourne Hospital revealed that patients supplemented with borax had 70% improvement in their arthritis symptoms, compared to 12% in the placebo group.

There is obviously a direct correlation between low boron levels and arthritis. For example, Jamaica has extremely low soil boron levels, and Jamaicans’ arthritis rates are 70% higher than those in Israel, where estimated daily boron intake is 5 to 8 mg and arthritis is found in only 0.5–1% of the population.

Bone examination revealed that arthritis-affected joints had only half the boron content of healthy joints.

The synovial fluid that helps carry nutrients to the cartilage and lubricates joints was found to be boron deficient in arthritic joints.

According to Newnham, supplementing with borax can eliminate pain, inflammation, and joint stiffness in about 1 to 3 months.

After 3 months, he suggests reducing the treatment from 3 daily pills to 1 pill a day (each containing 3 mg of borax) as a preventative measure to avoid future arthritis.

Borax is usually sold as agricultural or technical grade at a 99–99.5% pure concentration. The remaining 0.5 % might consist of potassium, sodium, chloride, sulfates, phosphates, calcium, carbonate, and bicarbonate but no toxic or heavy metals.

Boric acid is also a popular and very effective treatment for Candida yeast infections, and it is widely sold and manufactured in the US.

Spoiler alert: there’s an even better method to easily defeating arthritis. Click this link and take a peek at how you can eliminate your joint pain today…

Eliminate Your Joint Pain – Desperate Arthritis Sufferer Saved by the Internet

If you suffer arthritis, you know that sitting for long typing on a computer can be as pleasurable for your joints as teeth pulling.

But there is a brighter side to computers and Internet. One that can help you even more effective than a well-meaning doctor.

And this amazing healing power of the Internet was recently proven in an Austrian study.

Many people with arthritis are in so much pain that they prefer to stay at homes. Others live in rural areas where treatment options are limited.

With this in mind, researchers in Australia recruited 148 people who suffered from chronic knee pain who were all aged 50 or more.

They divided them into two groups, one that received an Internet-based arthritis management course, and another that received simple but vague educational material about arthritis.

The online course included educational material, seven Skype-based videoconferencing sessions with a physiotherapist to train them in effective and safe home exercise, and an interactive program called PainCOACH that taught them relaxation techniques, problem solving skills, the use of pleasant imagery, and the modification of negative thoughts about pain.

At three and nine months after the program, all participants completed questionnaires to report their level of pain while walking, their quality of life, their functional status, their sense of control over their arthritis, their ability to cope, and the negative beliefs about pain.

After both three and nine months, the group that received the intervention reported significant improvements in all of the above aspects, especially in pain and level of function.

For people who had no other hope and were desperate for relief, the Internet went from a tool of convenience to one of a real lifesaver.

We’ve successfully used the Internet to help thousands of people cure their arthritis in 28 days or less. Here is how you can benefit from this simple strategy to eliminate joint pain…

Eliminate Your Joint Pain – 9 Foods That Tackle Inflammation

The majority of serious progressive diseases hassling the Western world are in one way or another caused by chronic inflammation. This includes arthritis, type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and more.

The good news is that it’s relatively easy to manage chronic inflammation just through diet and small lifestyle changes. And when inflammation is dealt with, it reverses the progressive illnesses caused by it.

Fatty fish – Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines are good sources of omega-3 fatty acids that reduce inflammation. A 2009 study proved that eating baked or boiled fatty fish cuts down the risk of developing heart disease by 23 percent. If you don’t like eating fish, consider taking fish oil supplements.

Whole grains – They are a good source of fiber and are low in sugar and are ideal for reducing inflammation. In fact, at the molecular level, fibers help reduce the levels of C-reactive proteins. (C-reactive proteins are agents that stimulate inflammation.)

Green leafy vegetables – Spinach, kale, collard greens and broccoli are already praised for their health benefits. The high Vitamin E content in them helps protect the body from inflammation-causing substances like cytokines. They are also rich in other vitamins as well as minerals and are highly recommended.

Nuts – Nuts, especially almonds and walnuts, are packed full of antioxidants that help reduce inflammation. Almonds contain high levels of Vitamin E, calcium and fiber, while walnuts are rich in a type of omega-3 fatty acid called alpha linolenic acid. The antioxidants in nuts are useful for repairing any damage in the body caused by inflammation.

Soy – Soy and soy products are a rich source of isoflavones, which lower the levels of C-reactive proteins in the body and thus reduce the chances of inflammation.

Avoid processed soy as the additives and preservatives in it will destroy the benefits. Consume tofu, soy milk and edamame (boiled soya beans), for maximum benefits. Just make sure you choose organic, non GMO soy products.

Beetroot – Beetroots are packed full of fiber, Vitamin C and antioxidants and are known for its blood pressure-lowering properties as well as reducing inflammation.

Onion – Onions are not just remarkably great at boosting the flavor of food, it is also very good for keeping inflammation at bay. Onions contain several anti-inflammatory substances like quercetin and allicin that break down to form sulfenic acid that, in turn, fight free radicals.

Garlic – It might have a strong smell, but that’s no reason to stay away from this healthy vegetable! Garlic has many compounds that work in the same way as non steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs and shuts down the inflammation molecular pathway.

Berries – Almost all types of berries are good for fighting inflammation, especially the bright red-colored berries like raspberries and strawberries which contain anti-inflammatory compounds called anthocyanin. Raspberry extract has been shown to prevent arthritis in animals, while blueberries prevent intestinal inflammation and ulcerative colitis.

The two major diseases proven to be caused by inflammation are arthritis and type 2 diabetes. For more information on specific foods and lifestyle changes to tackle each one, click the link below:

For more ideas to eliminate your joint pain, watch this video – The ultimate guide to knee pain | Types, causes, home remedies, when to see a doctor

Reverse Type 2 Diabetes…

Tackle Arthritis and win…

Clear out clogged heart arteries…

This post is from the Arthritis Strategy Program. It was created by Shelly Manning, a former arthritis sufferer and a health consultant.

A Brief Background on the Author

Like you, Shelly Manning also suffered from arthritis, particularly osteoarthritis. This was due to her weight and desk job. Her condition eventually took a toll on her relationship with her (former) husband.

It was when she went to Hong Kong that she met Janerdquo, an old woman who owned the restaurant where she ate. Janerdquo supposedly offered her a bowl of a weird-smelling soup, which helped ease her joint pain. She ate there each day for 10 days until she was completely healed from arthritis.

Shelly Manning decided to research this natural remedy and to create a step-by-step treatment plan to others who are suffering from different types of arthritis, such as gout, rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, and psoriatic arthritis.

That’s why she created “The Arthritis Step By Step Strategy.” According to her claims, this unique strategy will get rid of joint pain and stiffness, repair your damaged joints, and treat the underlying cause of your arthritis.

Shelly teamed up with Christian Goodman, the owner of Blue Heron Health News, a publishing company that aims to help people to take responsibility for their own health by using natural health alternatives for preventing arthritis in fingers and knees naturally.

To find out more about this program, go to Eliminate Your Joint Pain

How to Stop Excessive Sweating Due to Social Anxiety?

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

How to Stop Nervous Sweating (Caused by Social Anxiety)

If you’re here reading this page, then you’ve probably got a problem.

A pretty embarrassing problem. Something you try to hide from the world. Something you wish you could stop instantly.

Nervous sweating.

I’m about to show you what to do if you sweat all the time because of social anxiety or nervousness. And here’s why I’m qualified to talk about this…

A few years ago, my armpits would be absolutely drenched in sweat in almost any public place. I would sweat inside class or walking around outside. Even standing in line at the grocery store made my shirt damp and sticky under the armpits because of nervousness. I would even sweat when the temperature was cold, which made my shirt both wet AND cold – talk about an uncomfortable sensation!

So I know this problem can be very frustrating. It’s something you want to get rid of quickly.

I remember buying stronger deodorants and changing my shirt in the middle of the day. I also remember using the hand dryers in the school bathrooms to dry my shirt armpits so I could feel a bit more comfortable and to get rid of the stains. (Hoping nobody walked in while I was doing it!)

Other common areas for nervous sweating are the palms, face, etc. Sweating on the palms/hands can cause big difficulties because it makes most regular jobs very difficult, even shaking someone’s hand.

First let’s get something straight:

Is Your Sweating Caused by Nervousness Or Hyperhidrosis?

What is hyperhydrosis? It’s when someone’s sweat glands are overactive — they produce too much sweat when a person doesn’t need it. Hyperhidrosis is a physical problem with someone’s body — and people often go to surgery to fix it.

However, if you’re reading this article, then there’s a good chance that you do not have hyperhidrosis.

The question you need to ask yourself is: “When do I sweat?”

My answer to that would have been: “Only when I’m around people. Especially in more high pressure situations like talking in front of groups of people.” So my sweating was caused by my social anxiety or feeling nervous inside. When I was sitting at home alone I would not sweat, my armpits were usually dry as a bone. But stepping out of the house I would usually start to sweat.

So if you sweat a lot even when you’re alone and feeling relaxed, then you may have hyperhydrosis. A physical problem with how your sweat glands work. But if you basically only sweat when you’re feeling nervous or anxious, like inside or just before a social situation, then your sweating has a different mental cause.

Now let’s move on to what you really want to know — how to stop the sweating!

Are You Attacking the Symptoms or The Cause?

Buying stronger deodorants, changing your shirt multiple times a day and keeping your arms tightly pressed to your sides. All these are ways of attacking the symptoms of sweating.

However, the real way to stop nervous sweating is by fixing the root cause of your sweating. Since your sweating is only triggered in some situations, the root cause is mental.

You’re not sweating because of the heat. You’re also not sweating because your sweat glands are broken. You’re sweating because the “fight or flight response” in your brain has been triggered. 

The fact is, whenever you feel anxious, nervous, stressed, etc… it means the “fight or flight” survival part of your brain has been triggered. This is the part of your brain that makes your heart beat faster or hands tremble when you’re nervous. And it’s also what causes nervous sweating.

What Triggers Your Fight or Flight Response?

If you have social anxiety, then the simplest answer I can give you is: When you think you’re about to be rejected. Another way of looking at it: When you think something shameful about you is about to be exposed.

And this is why sweating is a vicious cycle for most people, including myself for many years.

You think if people notice you sweating, they would instantly look down on you. They would judge you to be not confident or weird or even gross. That’s why you desperately want the sweat to dry up and stop… and you desperately want to hide it from everyone.

You believe sweating is a shameful flaw that needs to be hidden. So what happens is that whenever you start sweating a little, you start to worry about it. This makes you feel more nervous, which makes you sweat more. So you get more nervous, sweat more. And on and on… a downward spiral.

Therefore, I’m about to make a weird statement, which I feel is 100% true for people who have social anxiety:

Overcome Shame, And You Overcome Sweating

I remember listening to Dr. David D. Burns tell a story of how he treated a man who had a nervous sweating problem in just one evening(In case you don’t know, Dr. Burns wrote what may be THE most popular book, which can be available on Amazon, called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy of all time about cognitive behavioural therapy.)

Here’s what happened…

The man came in to Dr. Burn’s therapy office, saying that he really hated how much he sweat from nervousness, especially when talking to attractive women.

And Dr. Burns told him: “I can promise you I can get rid of the problem permanently in just one evening. But it won’t be easy. If you promise to do exactly what I tell you, then I can fix this problem. But you have to follow my directions exactly.” (I’m paraphrasing what I remember here.)

The man agreed, because he wanted to get rid of his nervous sweating no matter what. So Dr. Burns told the man to come back to his office next Thursday so they could get to work.

Dr. David D. Burns Shows a Nervous Sweaty Man His “Shame Attacking” Exercise

When the man came back to the office next week, he found Dr. Burns dressed very casually in a t shirt and jeans. And he was holding a water bottle. To the man’s surprise, Dr. Burns told him that they would be going for a walk instead of sitting in the therapy office.

As they walked outside, Dr. Burns reminded the man how he had promised to do exactly what he said to cure the nervous sweating. The man agreed again.

Soon they came to a busy convenience store. Dr. Burns opened the water bottle and started splashing water onto his armpits.

“What are you doing!?!” the man exclaimed.

“Here, put some water on your armpits too,” said the therapist, acting like this was totally normal.

The man reluctantly did it too. Now they both looked like they had just been running in a marathon, all sweaty.

“Now I want you to go inside this convenience store, point at your armpits and loudly tell everyone how sweaty they are,” the doctor told him.

“I can’t do that!” the man cried. He was busy trying to HIDE his wet armpits from the people walking into the store.

“Okay, if I do it first, then will you promise to do it after me?” asked the doctor. The nervous man couldn’t believe his well-educated therapist would do this, and he agreed.

Sure enough, Dr. Burns walked into the convenience store. He lifted up one of his arms to reveal a big wet stain, and loudly said “Hey look how much I’m sweating today! Wow it sure is hot outside!”

The man looked from the outside amazed. A couple minutes later, Dr. Burns walked back outside and the man knew it was his turn. He copied what he has saw the doctor doing, lifting his arm and pointing out how sweaty he was to everyone in the busy convenience store, including the attractive woman working behind the counter.

Most people ignored him. Two or three people looked up before going back to their shopping or conversations. And 2 minutes later the man walked back outside, feeling exhilarated from doing something so far outside his comfort zone.

Dr. Burns and the man went to a couple more stores, repeating this exercise. And when Dr. Burns followed up with the man a few weeks, then a few months later… the man told him that his sweating problem was fixed.

Why Did the Man’s Nervous Sweating Stop?

So why did that extreme exercise work for the man? Because it attacked the root cause of his sweating – shame. In fact, Dr. Burns even calls it a “shame attacking exercise.”

“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.” – Brene Brown

By exposing the shameful thing for all to see instead of keeping it a secret, the shame fades away.

For more tips to stop excessive sweating due to social anxiety, watch this video – How to Overcome Nervous Sweating (and other Social Anxiety Symptoms)

Of course, there are less extreme ways to get over shame about your nervous sweating. One of the approaches I personally teach to my students is unconditional self-acceptance. It takes a bit more time to work than one evening, but I think it’s easier for most people with social anxiety than the very difficult exercise I told in this story.

Just remember that the more you feel ashamed of something and try to hide it, the more nervous it will make you. This is why nervous sweating turns into a vicious cycle for many people. In this article I’ve given you a BIG hint about how to fix the problem.

Overcome the shame, and you overcome the sweating. I still remember the first time I was listening to stand-up comedian Louis CK talk about how sweaty he was on stage. I was amazed at how someone could sweat, but not be ashamed about it. That was my first hint, and now I very rarely sweat from nervousness.

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on How to Stop Excessive Sweating Due to Social Anxiety?

How do I Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness?

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

Can You Overcome Social Anxiety by Yourself?

Is it possible to cure your social anxiety on your own? Without seeing a therapist or a doctor?

The answer is: yes and no.

Yes, people have overcome their social anxiety on their own (like myself).

However, it’s not always the right solution. In this article, I’m going to explain the pros and cons of trying to tackle social anxiety by yourself. I’ll show you when it’s okay to do, and when you should really seek professional help.

The Danger of Asking This Question

Let me ask you something…

WHY do you want to overcome your social anxiety on your own to begin with?

  • Are you afraid to share your deepest problems, shortcomings and secrets with a stranger?
  • Are you scared of how anxious going to see a professional about your problem will make you?

If the answer to these questions is yes, then you’re already heading in the wrong direction.

Now, I can understand your fear.

Back when I had really bad social anxiety, even getting a haircut where I had to make small talk with the hairdresser for 15 minutes was excruciatingly painful and awkward. I couldn’t even imagine talking to someone about my feelings, insecurities and social anxiety for an hour or more.

So I know how scary the IDEA of talking to someone about your social anxiety is. That’s the craziest part of this problem: your social anxiety itself makes it extremely hard to get help for it!

But here is a reality check:

You Will Not Overcome Your Social Anxiety Without Other People

An important part of the process of overcoming SA is doing things you are uncomfortable about. By talking to people and sharing more of yourself over time, you will slowly unwire the “fight or flight” response in your brain. And over time you will feel less anxious around people. You’ll sweat, shake, tremble or blush less.

One thing’s for sure: you can’t do exposure for social anxiety without other people. You will have to get out of your house and interact with those other talking monkeys you see out the window.

Can you talk to other people on your own? Yes, absolutely.

However, a therapist can offer a structured environment to get started with this process more easily. A therapist can also help you stay motivated in facing your fears — you’ll probably take more action than you would on your own to avoid disappointing your therapist. Also, if you take group therapy for social anxiety, then you are getting exposure and practice talking in a more high pressure environment with many people listening.

However, having said all this about exposure, let me add…

You Will Also Not Overcome Your Social Anxiety ONLY Through Exposure

I went to elementary school, high school and university in Canada for years, and my social anxiety only seemed to get worse and worse with time. Even though I was surrounded by people:

My conversation skills didn’t get better (if anything I just became more quiet and awkward),

I had no friends or social life,

My self-esteem just got worse, and I even had periods of depression to add to my SA.

So this much is clear:

Just being around people will not make your social anxiety go away on its own.

You also have to change the way your mind works from the inside out. That’s what finally cured my extreme shyness, quietness and nervousness around people.

How can you do this?

Well, if you go see a therapist, they will teach you the standard “cognitive behavioral therapy” approach to changing your thinking. This usually involves writing down your thoughts when you’re feeling anxious. Then you analyze your thoughts to see which ones are unrealistic by comparing them to common thinking errors. (Like black and white thinking, catastrophizing, etc.)

To be honest, that “standard” approach never really appealed or worked well for me.

Now, don’t get me wrong…

I’m sure it’s 1000% better than doing nothing about your socially anxious mind… but most people (therapists included) only recommend it because they don’t know of any other options. This is the tool they learned in school, and when all they have is a hammer then every problem looks like a nail… including depression, anxiety, sleeping difficulties and alcohol addiction.

Let me save you a few months of dry, boring and repetitive thought journaling in one paragraph:

Social anxiety starts with a negative and distorted self-image. You think there’s something wrong, bad or inferior about you, that you need to hide from other people.

The root fear in social anxiety is a fear of self-exposure. You are afraid that other people will notice the secret thing about you which is unattractive… so you do everything possible to shrink away from the spotlight or avoid people altogether.

Your secret thing could be your ugliness, your lack of friends, your boring and awkward conversation skills, etc.

So the cure to social anxiety really is about fixing your negative and distorted self-image. And I’ve found that people who have social anxiety only have a few main sources of this negative self-image, which can be fixed with a few new insights.

My insight-based approach to helping others overcome social anxiety really gets to the root cause of social anxiety, which is why I receive so much great feedback from my readers every week.

If you believed in your deepest core that who you are is valuable and worthwhile to other people… then your anxiety and fear about getting other people’s acceptance and approval will go away. Imagine it this way: if you were the most good looking, popular, charismatic, well respected and richest person in the world… would you have social anxiety?

“One’s destination is never a place, but rather a new way of seeing things.” -Henry Miller


Is it possible to overcome social anxiety on your own?


However, seeing a professional who can offer you a structured environment, unconditional acceptance and motivation to face your fears can speed the process up a lot.

Be warned though: many of these professionals will just give you the “standard” approach to changing your socially anxious mind… which sometimes works… But it isn’t nearly as effective as it should be because it’s usually not customized to your unique problems, unique challenges and unique root cause of your social anxiety.

Watch this video – How to Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness?

I hope you now understand the benefits and downsides to attempting to cure social anxiety on your own. I recommend you check out my site here  if you are looking for the best self-help advice to overcoming this problem.

Even if you do choose to overcome social anxiety without seeing a therapist or doctor in-person, you will still need some type of guidance on your journey to help you change the way your socially anxious mind works.

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on How do I Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness?

Why am I Shy and How to Stop Being Shy and Quiet?

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

Why Am I Shy? The 3 Surprising Reasons…

Here are the 3 biggest reasons:

1. You NEED something from the other person, usually acceptance/approval.

Here’s an easy question: Who is more nervous usually — a job interviewer or the interviewee?

The person being interviewed is much more nervous usually.


Well, if they feel like they need the job, then they will be trying to create a good impression on the other person to get it. This naturally creates a type of performance anxiety which is why most people are nervous before job interviews.

Similarly, shy people have such a strong need for the acceptance, approval and validation of other people that they often feel like a person being interviewed for a job. In social situations they may sweat nervously, try to only say very interesting things that will impress the other person, and they are relieved to get away.

Let’s go back to the job interview example…

When a person doesn’t NEED the job, they will usually not feel so nervous. For example, if the job is easy to replace like a minimum wage fast food job. Or if the person already has a job that is almost as good as the one he’s being interviewed for.

Or if he’s very well qualified for this type of job and has 12 similar interviews scheduled already. The person still WANTS the job, but they don’t desperately NEED it.

Shy people become tense, censor what they say and are afraid to speak up… because they have a desperate NEED to be liked, accepted and validated by other people. This is usually called “caring too much what other people think.”

When you don’t NEED people to like you, then you will naturally be more relaxed, open and at ease with them. Ironically, this increases the chances that they will actually like you.

So what causes this hole of neediness for the approval of other people?

There’s many possible causes that I don’t have time to explain now, but here’s one example:

A confident kid switches schools and they suddenly find themselves in a new environment without any of their old friends. Suddenly they feel needy to make people like them so they can make some new friends. This leads to shyness that sometimes sticks into adulthood. I hear this story surprisingly often.

Or perhaps a kid is bullied by people at their school, which makes them feel alone and friendless. This also leads to being needy for the acceptance of others which manifests as shy behavior.

“Other people teach us who we are. Their attitudes to us are the mirror in which we learn to see ourselves, but the mirror is distorted. We are, perhaps, rather dimly aware of the immense power of our social environment.” – Alan Watts

Now onto the 2nd reason…

2. You believe the other person is higher value than you.

In my popular article about overcoming shyness around girls, I mentioned something I call “Fat Girl Syndrome”…

Basically, that means that most guys who feel extremely shy, nervous and unsure what to say to a cute girl… will often find it 100x easier to talk normally to a woman they are not attracted to because she is ugly, fat, old, etc.

This is because the shy guy VALUES the really cute girl more because of her looks. (Yes, I know this is not “politically correct,” but it’s how human psychology works.)

So… What makes you see someone as valuable?

The answer isn’t as easy as you might believe. I’ve come to realize that everyone has a hidden inner system of valuing people. This is often based on the other person’s attractiveness, popularity, confidence, dominance, authority, etc.

If you feel like someone else is “higher value” than you, then you will start to shy, quiet, nervous or awkward around them. For example, if you’re a guy this may happen around very attractive women. If you’re a girl, it may happen around guys you like or have a crush on. It’s likely to happen around authority figures like a boss, teacher, etc.

Now think about the people who you feel little or no shyness around. Maybe they’re unattractive or weird. Maybe they’re even more shy or insecure than you. Maybe they’re even less popular. Maybe they’re younger than you or very old. These are the people that you secretly feel are equal or “lower value” than you. Around them you probably act a lot more confident and expressive, and you don’t feel nearly as self-conscious or unsure of what to say.

So pay attention around WHO you act more shy around to see who you secretly value. Your actions will reveal your unconscious belief system to you.

Usually a high value person can GIVE you something. Maybe it’s your boss who can give you his approval or a raise. Maybe it’s someone you find attractive who could possibly give you a relationship or sex. Maybe it’s a popular or well-connected person who could increase your social circle or reputation or “coolness.”

A low value person can’t really “give” you much, which is why you don’t feel as shy with them.

The only 2 real solutions to this problem are:

  • Increase how much you value yourself. (I call this your self-esteem.)
  • Or knock other people off the pedestal. (Most shy people feel inferior and assume that everyone else has a much more interesting, cool and active life than the average person actually does.)

Now the 3rd cause of shyness

3. You feel uncomfortable with yourself.

Shyness and insecurity, the two seem to always go together. Feeling insecure about yourself will make you avoid attention & connection because you don’t want people to see the thing you are insecure or uncomfortable about.

For years I was extremely insecure about my slightly crooked front teeth. Many shy people have insecurities about their physical appearance and believe they are ugly. (Usually they pick one small bad thing about their appearance and then obsess over it non-stop as if this is the ONE thing everybody else will notice and remember about them.)

Let me tell you, I’ve been there. It’s a miserable place to be, insecurity eats away at your confidence until you have none left. But there are also other types of insecurities:

Some shy people feel like they are simply dull, boring and uninteresting.

Or they feel stupid because of their awkward conversation skills.

Or they are losers with no friends and an unattractive lifestyle.

These can all make you feel like other people wouldn’t accept you if they TRULY knew you. So you hide your true self. Maybe you try to be the type of person you think others want you to be. Maybe you never share your REAL thoughts, interests, passions or hobbies with people.

Being uncomfortable with yourself makes you scared to share yourself with people or form deeper connections. And telling someone to “be yourself” or “just be happy with who you are” is easier said than done.

“Being lonely is hard, but what’s harder is when you’re surrounded by people and still feel lonely.” -Unknown


Shyness can stop you from living life fully. Whether you want a girlfriend, a better social life, more confidence at work, etc… shyness can freeze you.

The biggest thing you need to remember from this article is that shyness is NOT a permanent personality trait. YOU are not shy, you just become shy in some situations depending on where you are and who you’re with.

So WHY do you become shy sometimes?

It may happen when you NEED the other person’s acceptance or approval, similar to how a job interviewee becomes nervous when they NEED the job.

Or it may have to do with how much you value the other person compared to yourself. If you value the other person a lot (maybe because they’re very attractive)… or you don’t value yourself much (low self-esteem)… then you will become shy, quiet or awkward.

The last reason is when you feel uncomfortable with yourself. When you feel insecure about your appearance, personality or lifestyle… then you will shy away from attention because you don’t want other people to notice the secret thing you feel ashamed about.

Watch this video – How to Stop Being Shy (Communicate with Confidence)

I hope this article has given you some insight into how your shyness works. 

If you’d like to learn my BEST tips,

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.To find out more, click on Overcome Social Anxiety – How to Stop Being Shy?